Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Rock bottom?

Some really crappy thoughts/joke ideas that made me wonder if I had hit a creative rock bottom this week:

1) Are cauliflower and broccoli cousins?

2) I'm Indian. Not like the Indians who fought the cowboys. I'm talking about the Indians who are "cow-boys."

3) "Mad About You" in very small doses, late at night, can be a very enjoyable television program.

4) I hope I never meet a superhero because where there's a superhero, there's probably some trouble.

5) "Santa, give me your arms. I was a good boy this year, and I thought we had a verbal agreement that I could have anything I wanted if I was good. I want your arms, Santa."

6) I am 20 pounds overweight for my height. I could exercise, but I'm still holding out hope for one more growth spurt.

7) What's with the phrase "I wouldn't be caught dead doing so and so..." (I never thought of an example or punch line for this idea, but I tried to convince someone it was a legitimate joke)

8) Apparently crying doesn't burn as many calories as I'd hoped.

9) Dieting is hard. I'll start eating a carton of cookies and when I think I'm done, the cookie next in line starts talking to me. "Please don't leave me here. Please. I'll die." Every time I eat it turns into "Sophie's Choice."

10) There were many things in the show "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" that never quite made any sense, (I really should have stopped here, but I kept writing) but one in particular really bugs me.

I mean, it was a detective/ mystery themed show. The chief made sense. The gumshoes made sense. You could probably even justify why the host Greg Lee made sense.

But Rockapella? Why on earth do you need a "hip" acapella group to solve mysteries? How the hell does that happen?


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