I still can't believe I did this...
As you'll notice by the time on this e-mail, I should be in class right now. I do, however, have a very valid reason why I'm not. I will describe this reason neatly in the next paragraph.
So, I'm in the shower at 8:50 am, as I am every Tuesday and Thursday morning just before I run cross campus from my dorm in Chamberlain Hall to Smith Auditorium where I show up approximately 5 minutes late for your class. Today, however, was different. As I was in the middle of washing my hair, I noticed blinking red and white lights and heard very loud beeping sounds. At first, I was surprised and thought to myself: "Hey, this usually doesn't happen when I'm in the shower." Then I realized that it was the fire alarm and that I should probably get out of the shower and run outside before I burned to death. I, however, first rinsed out my hair to get the shampoo out of it. I'm sure there's a sociological and/or psychological reason for why I would do so, but I will not get into that in this paper. I mean...this e-mail.
Getting back to the point, I went outside in my towel and waited quite a while for the firemen to go through the building to make sure everyone got out. They would soon discover that there was not a fire, at all. Someone had pulled the fire alarm as a joke! A JOKE! Can you imagine that? Someone endangered my life and the lives of my classmates for A JOKE.
At this point it was about 9:35 am (35 minutes after class started). I would've ran over to class right then, but I was just in a towel and I thought this might be inappropriate attire for class. By the time I went back to my room and got ready for class, it would have been too late. This is why I decided to stay here and write you this e-mail to let you know what happened.
I have that research paper with me that was due today, and that I could not give you in class. Can I hand it to you later today? I would e-mail it, but I don't have a saved copy on my computer here, but on one at home. (I actually finished my paper at home over Fall Break a week ago! This is what I get for being a nerd!) I'll definitely bring it over to your office by tomorrow morning. Right now, as you can probably understand I'm both mentally and physically exhausted from the morning's events, and need to get back to bed.
I'm sorry for the inconvenience.