Sunday, February 19, 2006

Back when I was happy...

With Valentine’s Day being this week, I started to think about a time in my life where I was less jaded about love. I believed it was possible and that I would eventually find it. It was a time when I was happy.

What a fool!

Anyway, so for your amusement, I am posting a letter I wrote a girl in high school that I thought I was in love with. Children, learn from my mistakes. Get a doctor to neuter you before life does.

Hey Alexa,

You signed off pretty quick right now when I signed on. Did you sign off because I signed on? I’m really sorry I said that thing to you today. I thought you’d think it was a funny joke. When you told me that you were a fake blonde, I shouldn’t have asked if that meant you were “fake stupid.” It was really insensitive.

So, I was listening to “Take on Me” by A-Ha and I realized that it made me think of you. Actually, lots of songs make me think of you now a days. “You’re all the things I got to remember…Take on me, Take me on.” That’s from the song. Sometimes I think that way about you. You’re awesome.

So because you’re so awesome I wrote a poem for you today in the nurse’s room after I passed out in gym class. It’s based on Ovid’s Pyramus and Thisbe. Maybe I’ll read it to you some day.

I know we’ve only been friends for like 3 weeks, but you have replaced lonliness as my heart’s constant companion. I know you just broke up with your boyfriend, but I was wondering if you would go to prom with me. If you have already made other arrangements, I completely understand. Maybe we could see a movie together or something. (Have you ever seen Love Story? Academy Award Nominee, Best Picture, 1970. It's my favorite movie!)

Anyway, write me back!


P.S. I have a new e-mail address. It’s . (I know, I know…it’s pretty poetic.) Do you have a new e-mail too? All my e-mails to you have been bouncing back. Oh well, see you tomorrow at the girl’s soccer game.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Welcome to my new webpage!

Hello friends,

Today is a very special day, as it marks the opening of This webpage has been several months in the making, and I'm pretty damn proud of the results. (Thanks again Todd for your fine work!) This blogspot will serve as my page's journal section and is where I will continue providing you my thoughts, new material I've been working on, stupid Instant Messenger conversations I've had with friends, and news regarding my life and comedy career. I promise to update this regularly and give you a reason to come back. (These are probably empty promises, but whatever.)

Finally...Happy Valentine's Day! I realize that some people are making love to their significant others right now, as I christen my webpage with a blog entry.... know...umm...I HOPE YOU ALL GET HERPES.

Much love (except for me),