Monday, January 28, 2008

If they change the name of their band to "Arnold and Willis" that would be pretty fucked up....

I’m really enjoying that new song “I’m not going to teach your girlfriend how to dance” by that band, Black Kids .

“You are the girl that I’ve been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl.”

I imagine a young woman in love with her female best friend who is dating some dude who can’t dance. She is asked by the friend to teach this idiot how to dance…and it’s breaking her heart to do it.

This makes for a much more interesting teen movie than if the characters were all “straight.” (Though the plot does seem to be vaguely similar Some Kind of Wonderful.) I will probably never write this screenplay, but someone should! Also, whoever writes it should give me a cut of the profit since I came up with the idea. Notice the date, kids. No way of pretending you came up with it first. I expect some fat checks for this.

Oh yeah, then there’s the name of the band: Black Kids. Of course this makes me a wee bit uncomfortable. Clearly, that’s the point of it. It’s shocking when people are confronted with race, even in such a superficial way.

I do like the idea of people openly declaring “I love Black Kids.”

I mean, could you imagine people actually saying the opposite out loud?

Me: You hate Black Kids?

Dude: Well, I didn’t mean…

Me: They’re too loud for you, right?

Dude: Well, I mean...I wouldn’t put it quite like…

Me: Is it their look? You don’t like how Black Kids look?

Dude: You know, I wouldn’t…umm…

Me: You’d prefer Black Kids to dance on stage more, right? They don’t dance enough for you?

Dude: Umm..

Me: Bigot, go buy their record now!

Dude: Ok, I’ll buy it on itunes immediately!

Me: Itunes? What are you afraid of being seen with Black Kids? Fuck Mr. Drummond, right?

Ok, I'll stop here. This could go on racism.

I assume most people assume the “Dude” in that funny piece of dialogue was white. He was. He was white.

Hmmm…I wonder if the fear of looking racist could actually lead to increased Black Kids record sales in the United States. How powerful is white guilt?

I suppose there’s also the possibility that people just might stick the word “the” before the band’s name just to distance themselves a little bit from sounding racist.

The Black Kids, doesn’t quite sound as edgy.

Has the word “the” ever had such power? The Definite Article as a racism buffer.

And yes, both the title of this blog and the end of that little dialogue above were references to the 80s television program, Different Strokes. That show was great. Remember that episode when Dudley gets molested by the man that owns the bicycle shop? That episode actually happened! CREEPY. Here’s a scene I found on youtube that weirds me out:

Man, I wish they had the whole episode on there. The kids actually escape and that dude gets arrested. It’s still fucked up, but a little less so.'s strange to think that Michael Jackson somehow turned into some strange cross between Gary Coleman and that white child molester.

I will end on that Michael Jackson joke.

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Blogger George said...

hilarious blog.... thoroughly creepy different strokes clip.... yikes.

10:46 PM  
OpenID robodart said...

What if I'm just unfamiliar with Black Kids? I've just never seen them. Maybe it's where I live...

PS - Creeeeepy youtube clip!

4:13 PM  
Blogger Basim said...

Don't forget Pakistani/Punjabi Desi Punks, The Kominas (like Kaminas)!

Balley Balley, right?

6:45 AM  
Blogger steve said...

you watch the superbowl??? what about all those other racist jokes that are ok b/c it's other races? asian (don't know the company), indian (bud light)...miss you hari!

ps ruth and i are moving to new york!

10:40 PM  
Anonymous max said...

good to see youre keeping up with good music hari, and figuring out ways to label it...

8:59 AM  

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