Friday, January 16, 2009

Just Wishful Thinking, I Guess

How ironic that an airplane crash in New York City would overshadow George W. Bush's final speech as President of the United States of America later that evening.

Sometime Yesterday Evening in the Oval Office


(White House Aide enters. President GW Bush is staring blankly at a wall.)

White House Aide: Sir, US Airways Flight 1549 from New York City to Charlotte has crashed into the Hudson River

President GW Bush: Oh God, really?

White House Aide: Yes, sir.

President GW Bush: Well... alright! This is the best news I've gotten in 7 years! We finally might be able to turn this thing around. Thank you again, Osama! Let's see if we can get another term out of this, FDR style. First, get the flags out for the press conference and...wait, I'm being insensitive here. How many Americans did we lose on this flight?

White House Aide: Actually sir, everyone survived.

President GW Bush: Wow. I knew we were weakening Al-Qaeda. Not a single casualty this time.

White House Aide: Actually, we suspect it was birds, sir.

President GW Bush: Birds? The terrorists are using birds somehow to crash planes?

White House Aide: No, Mr. President. A flock of geese got caught in the engines of the plane and caused the plane to crash. The pilot was able to skillfully land it in the Hudson River and all the passengers were rescued quickly by the Coast Guard.

President: (Sighs)

White House Aide: Are you ok, Mr. President?

President GW Bush: Yes, yes. Just wishful thinking, I guess.

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